Hi and welcome to my blog in which I plan to talk about clients and counselling in general. 

My clients can be split into 2 main categories although this isn’t absolute. The first is clients impacted by the past. This could be a specific incident that causes trauma or it could be caused by the relationship with their parents or guardians. This accounts for 75% of my clients. The other 25% are being impacted by something in the present. This could be grief through bereavement, an ongoing medical condition or an issue concerning the people they love.

One of the first things I say to a client is that their brain and my brain are the same but their personality is totally unique to them. Counselling isn’t advice giving, as a solution that would work for me may be wrong for them and vice versa. For important decisions we can explore their emotions around the different options but there is so much more to counselling than decision making. 

I offer a safe and none judgemental environment where emotions can be explored. Core beliefs that you may or may not know you have can be challenged and techniques can be developed to help improve how you feel and improve your general mental health. 

The relationship with parents or guardians is one of the most important as I believe it becomes the foundations for who you are. I think children need not only to be loved but know they are loved. They also need boundaries, have few rules but absolutely stick to them. 

Many children make conclusions after an incident has happened that may severely impact them for the rest of their lives. For example if Mum and Dad aren’t getting on the child may try to behave perfectly. If Dad then leaves the conclusion made by the child could be that if they had been perfect then Dad would have stayed and if you are not perfect then the people you love will leave. 

Understanding is not forgiving and forgiving is not forgetting. This can also be very powerful. There is always a reason why people do what they do and it can be very powerful when this is understood. The reason for a parent’s or guardian’s behaviour will be down to their own history and this can be a relevation to the client. Forgiving someone’s poor behaviour or, even more importantly, forgiving yourself can hugely help your mental health.